Turkish Weddings = BIG & *Bling*

Umut & I will get married in Texas in January. Since his family won't make it to the US for the wedding, in late September we will have a Turkish "wedding". I get to be a bride twice! (and just to clarify, to the same man.)

On Thursday we went to Madam Burcu, best described as the "David's Bridal of Turkey". Momma Ceylan has her heart set on this store because they will lend you their infamous white stretch limousine for your Big Day.

My experience in finding a dress at Madam Burcu's could not have been more unexpected. There are 2 rules for Turkish Weddings... BIG & *Bling*!

After choosing my Top 5 dresses, I went into the dressing room to try on the 1st gown. It took 10 minutes to get the dress on before the store employee led me to an area which looked like the backstage of a rock concert. She lowered the lights and led me around a corner to a 15'x 15' dance floor. Picture this: a foreigner tip-toeing onto a dance floor decked out in a glittering marshmallow. This dance floor was complete with a revolving disco ball, red strobe lights, a smoke machine, and the deep beat of rap music. For a moment I thought I was the latest member of The Pussycat Dolls.

And then to my horror I looked up to see through the dark room a row of gawking viewers sitting on couches in front of me. My eyes slowly focused enough for me to recognize these viewers were not just the Ceylans, but about 10 other people who were curious to see what the American looked like in the Turkish cream puff, err...wedding dress.

I felt an equal mixture of humor and mortification, but eventually a dress was chosen. And Momma Ceylan is happy because on September 25, we will be rolling in a white limo.

I am going to keep the Turkish wedding dress a surprise for my Blog Viewers until September, but let's just say once you see the dress, you have my permission to stare. :)

PS: As I write this, Umut's parents are under the influence of Turkish liquor and discussing if they should rent a horse for me to arrive on at the pre-wedding party, also known as Henna Night. Anyone have some spurs I can borrow?

A Greek/Turkish Date Night

Last night Umut and I went to a fantastic Greek/Turkish restaurant. He is friends with the owner's family so we were treated to the "chef's special"...delicious appetizers, yummy main courses and a fried apple tart with homemade ice cream for dessert. Yum! During dinner, 2 men sang & played instruments while everyone else joined in. Everyone except me, of course. I haven't quite mastered any lyrics of Turkish folk music! The entire evening felt like we were eating with family because of the shared experience of the music & food. It was a wonderful evening!

A Turkish Cowboy Serenade

A few weeks ago Umut was given a beautiful guitar and decided to serenade me with it. This video will probably be the 1st time you have ever heard the cowboy blues sung by a Türk. It certainly was for me. :)

A Place of Paradox

After dinner, I went on a walk around our neighborhood today. It was drizzling but the walk was still enjoyable. On my way home, I noticed 2 very interesting paradoxes. The 1st video was a special moment to me, encouraging me that God is still revealing His nature, Divine power & His character in Turkey. His mercy is reigning for today. The 2nd video is a more humorous paradox. Also, what you hear in the background of this video is the last "call to prayer" for the day. Yes, this is certainly a place of paradoxes.

Ridiculous Questions

Umut warned me. "Tonight we are celebrating my youngest uncle's birthday and when the older uncle shows up, just be ready. He is sure to ask you ridiculous questions."

So imagine my reaction when a 250 pound man with deep set eyes and a thick unibrow with hands larger than my face walked into the room. This uncle is also partially deaf so he shouts with a deep, gruff voice that makes Darth Vader sound like a little girl. I greet him and his wife and all 12 adults gather in the living room to talk.

Actually, 1 adult talks and the other 11 listen. This uncle is certainly the ring-leader of the family. Within minutes, Umut turns to me and with a look of pity says..."I told you his questions would be ridiculous. He is asking..."

1)"Michelle, what do you think of my wife?" (What?!? How in the world am I supposed to answer a question like that when 11 people, INCLUDING HIS WIFE, are all staring at me right now?) "She is very beautiful", I replied.

Of course, the "American bride" leads to the discussion of America, which "naturally" leads to the next ridiculous question.

2)"Michelle, do you know the history of the blue jean? Cowboys appear to be the 1st to wear jeans, but did they actually invent the blue jean?" (Is this a joke? Other than Fashion Merchandising students, does anyone know the answer to this question?) Rather than say I didn't know, I elaborated on the fact that jeans are made from cotton and cotton was a major industry in the South. Therefore, perhaps farmers invented the blue jean.

Okay, so I wasn't totally honest with him. But I was totally humoring myself as well as Umut with my answers. And for those who are curious, today I found this link: http://www.ideafinder.com/history/inventions/bluejeans.htm

The discussion on America continued and led to another uncle adding to the list of ridiculous questions.

3)"Michelle, I am afraid of flying. How many days would it take to sail from Turkey to America?" (Do boats travel that far other than Navy ships?) At this point, I just stared at Umut in total confusion, so he improvised the answer to this one and guessed, "I don't know. Maybe 40 days?". Funny thing is, Turkey feels about half way around the world and if the old saying is true (Around the world in 80 days), Umut is probably accurate.

Finally, the older uncle concluded the evening.

4)"Michelle, what percentage of men in America wear earrings?" (Let's see...add up all rappers & gangsters, professional athletes, college guys sowing wild oats, a portion of the gay & "metro" population plus a few guys who care about fashion and you get...) "10%."

Later that night, Umut and I began referring to him as "crazy uncle". Oh, and did I mention his name is Hüseyin? The nickname stays.

Wool Socks and Butt Slaps

I couldn't help but title this post any other way. "What in the world do wool socks & butt slaps have in common?" Well, if you have a Turkish grandma, you wouldn't need to ask this question.
I met mama Ceylan's mother this weekend. Granny grew up in a small village near Denizli, modern day Colossae. Think: outhouses and your pets are the same thing as next week's dinner. The women of this generation often were thick wool or cotton stockings along with wool socks they personally knitted. And that is exactly what Granny made for me, wool socks.

So not long after meeting her, she presented me with her gift. While I may never sport these things in public, it's a really cool gift to remember her and perhaps pass-on to her great grandchildren one day. So I said "so pretty, thank you very much" in Turkish. And then grandma followed up by swinging her hand back and slapping fairly hard on my butt. For a moment, I thought we were playing for the Tennessee Titans and I had just scored a touchdown. :)

Umut saw the look of humor and surprise on my face and immediately told me, "This is how grandmothers show their love."

And that is the story of wool socks and butt slaps.

COMMON MISTAKES FOREIGNERS MAKE: #3

Common Mistakes Foreigners Make: #3, Getting Riped Off

April 9: A few weeks ago, I purchased a cell phone and cell phone plan in Turkey. Their cell phone system is really different than the US and works more like a "pay as you go" phone. One store was advertising a special that included: 3 free hours, 5000 free text messages, a new phone, a SIM card and 150 units (it costs a few "units" per minute to talk). The whole package was about $120 USD. What a deal!

A few days after purchasing the plan I left for the 7 Churches tour and ended up talking to Umut alot. We breezed through the free 3 hours very quickly. So I started texting him during my travels. "I have 5000 texts that I can only use in the first 30 days, so I better use them while I can." After about 5 days, my phone was no longer working because I was out of units. I knew something was wrong because there was NO WAY I texted Umut 5000 times!

Long story short, Umut went to a different phone store (but the same company) today to find out the problem. We discovered that the 5000 "free" texts was false advertising from the independent store we purchased our plan from.

I learned that in Turkey promotions are rarely, if ever, included in contracts. This means you often are taking a risk whenever you buy something with added features, like "5000 free texts". Unfortunately, there is not much you can do about it. I wish the Better Business Bureau would find its way to Turkey. :)

What Every Turkish Bride Needs To Know...

What every Turkish bride needs to know...how to cook Türk Kahvesi (Turkish Coffee). This stuff grows hair on your chest, I promise. It's very strong, very potent, unfiltered coffee poured into an espresso cup. Because it's unfiltered, on the bottom of the cup is a thick, coffee tar left for the drinker to see what clogs their arteries while consuming this traditional Turkish drink. Okay, I am being a little synical, mainly because this is one delicacy that I haven't developed an appreciation for. However, it is the duty of every unmarried girl to learn the art of making Türk Kahvesi. In some of the smaller villages, she is chosen to be a bride based on this ability.

Luckily for me, I was accepted into the Ceylan family before I had to learn this skill. However, mama Ceylan is already catching me up on making one of Umut's favorite drinks. I am willing to make it, but it will be a while before I actually consume it. Check out the picture.

OMG...an old Turkish lady showed me her bra

Yep. You read the title correctly. An old Turkish lady showed me her bra today...while she was wearing it. And she showed it proudly. Folks, there are no pictures for this post. This is for your safety. Because what I saw today was not for the faint of heart.

Every few weeks Umut's mom meets with a group of older, wealthier Turkish women. It's primarly a time for eating and socializing. Umut warned me that the women of this particular group are different. They are more gregarious, more extroverted and more open to breaking some social norms.

Umut had left for a mid-term study group and I was preparing to go boot shopping when the ladies began to arrive. I knew that I needed to sit in the room and "visit" for 15 minutes before leaving. Of course, I didn't understand anything they said, but it's still polite to stick around.

Within minutes, a woman in her mid-60s whips out a new bra that she had apparently purchased on the way over. Imagine those GIGANTIC bras your grandmother used to wear. Probably one of the cups are big enough to be a young child's hat. That's how big this bra was. Massive. After passing the bra around to some of the ladies, she went to the bathroom to put it on and then came out to show everyone how great her Girls looked.

"OMG...an old Turkish lady showed me her bra." So I began praying to God that this wasn't the beginning of a congo line in which all of us were supposed to raise our shirts and show off our own Endowments.

Thankfully, I made it out of the room before any more Gazelles made their way out of hiding. Whew. Today was a close call.

A Picnic with a View

Today we went with a few families on a picnic. I wasn't sure what to expect, especially since it was drizzling all day. Also, we live in the middle of a metropolis neighborhood and I haven't seen very many great picnic spots. But after a 15 minute drive with our car peeling-out up the mountain road, we found ourselves 0n a gorgeous hillside view of a mountain range. The sprinkles of rain dissipated and the clouds began to break.

We grilled out barbeque chicken & lamb, toasted some fresh french bread and ate a delicious salad (a common salad here is romaine lettuce, cucumber, tomato, green onion and lemon juice). And don't forget the Turkish liquor, Rakı, along with çay (hot black tea).

One of my favorite neighboring families came along and I think their son is so cute. Today he is wearing his favorite soccer team's uniform, Galatasaray. I can hardly pronounce his name so I asked him if I could give him an American name. His new name is "Justin". :) Somehow the name just seemed to fit.

Bringing a Little American Culture to Turkey

It's been 3 weeks and I have really only craved 1 food: Hamburgers. In many dishes, meat is more of the garnish than the main ingredient. With all the delicious food here in Turkey, all I want is a big, juicy slab of beef. I asked the Ceylans if I could make them an American dinner and they were all glad to leave the kitchen open for me.

I was lucky to find fresh ground beef, American cheese and even hamburger buns at the big grocery store in Izmir. So after an hour of stinking up their kitchen (my "foreign" food smells really strange to them), I served the Ceylans and Serkan (Umut's best friend) garlic cheeseburgers, baked fries and fried pickles. There was nothing nutrional about this meal and it's no wonder America is the most obese country in the world.

The Turks at the table could barely fit their mouths around the huge burgers (I had no problem!) but eventually found their way through the meal. On the other hand, the fried pickles were the biggest success of the evening. I was asked to make them again when we go the the "village" to visit extended family.

All in all, the meal was a success. And somehow I convinced Umut and Serkan that according to "American tradition" the youngest people at the table are supposed to clean the kitchen. Shhhh....let's keep that lie going for a while!

COMMON MISTAKES FOREIGNERS MAKE: #2

Common mistakes foreigners make: #2- Unlocking doors.

April 2: After spending the morning in the city, Umut put me in a cab to return home as he headed to work. It was my 1st journey through Izmir alone & I was up for the challenge. By God's grace the taxi driver knew where to drop me off and I was able to find our apartment building.

I made it to our front door with no problems & pulled out my new set of keys. Insert key and turn. And turn. And turn. And turn. For the life of me I couldn't unlock the front door. I was making so much noise turning the key that our neighbor heard me and finally came to my rescue.

She opened the door in 2 seconds but I don't plan on plan on unlocking any doors anytime soon.

COMMON MISTAKES FOREIGNERS MAKE: #1

So I have decided to eat a piece of humble pie and keep a running list of the moments of major social awkwardness during this next year in Turkey. What better title to this post than, "Common mistakes foreigners make"?

1) March 17: My 1st "night on the town" with Umut. We went to a local cafe/hooka bar and he smoked an apple hooka (tobacco free) while I drink çay (black tea). After a few glasses, I needed to use the ladies room. Finding the restroom wasn't hard. Finding the light switch was...impossible. Fearful of looking like a fool, I shut the door and decided to take care of business in the pitch-black dark. I said a quick prayer and hoped to aim in the right direction. When I returned to our table Umut "enlightened" me by sharing that restroom light switches are always on the EXTERIOR of the room. Hmmm. Good to know. No more peeing in the dark for this foreigner!